you sit there in your heartache

not surprisingly i had a pretty awful day today. by the end of the day, the pressures, paranoia and stress crushed on me and i eventually broke down.
i don't know why i felt terrible today.
actually, i lie. i do, i just don't want to confront my fears and the reality of it all.
i seem to wish for better, or a way to change my act.
i don't understand who i'm meant to be. theres so many different things i want to be, act, everything but it's all mushed up in my head and i'm so confused.
i don't understand why things can't just run perfectly for once in my life.
just for once i want it to be perfect, or an inch like what perfect is.



i don't discriminate against hair colours and Hannah says "you go for quiet boys"

why do they seem different, so different that they seem like they care but they just don't understand.

everyones the fucking same.




it's all in my head. my head is too imaginative for its own good. i don't know, i really don't.
my stomach drops.
people are too hard for me. i don't understand them and nor do they understand me.

"we settle for half... and i like it better"
well screw you mr alfieri but half is never better than a whole.