the footfalls of a girl that no one even heard

today was probably one of the most poignant days that i will never forget. i'm feeling mellow yet apathetic and pissed off at the same time. more like fed up.
yeah, fed up. of. every. single. thing.
after a day at school feeling very confronted and exposed at the same time i just burst in tears ever after the bell went. i've already failed two tests in the subjects that i did and thought i did so well in. you know what, I DON'T CARE. to get somewhere you need effort. and well obviously i'm not putting in enough effort. well fuck it does seem like i care.

i really don't know anymore

;_______;

people just blur past me at school. fakes.
like this 14 year old girl from our school took a photo of herself naked and sent it to a boy who sent it to everyone. now its like scandal of the month or some crap.
you know what? their all attention seeking turds. why can't they just tone down their attitude a bit and stop thinking the world revolves around them.

on a cornier note, i finished reading the tenth and last book of The Princess Diaries this afternoon. yes, it succeeded to make me feel a little better.
but then it got my hopes high in finding a boy as perfect as Michael Moscovitz seems.

i wish.
like you know those cliche movies where a girls high-school years are supposedly the best and whatnot.
and you know what irks me?? when its the "loser geek unknown girl" that feels lost and empty and everything that falls in love with the popular good looking guy and they think "oh yeah, fat chance hes going to even notice me" but by the end of the movie their like pretty much having sex.

fucking expectations that you have that are just so stupid and unreal.

and you know what just tops my apathetic mood?
i can post screwed up blogs like this and no one gives a crap.