My mum came into my room while I was reading the Jan edition of Cream I.D while I was on the page of naked models. You could say it was bad timing.
Wait, it WAS bad timing.
I got called an attention seeking whore today (jokingly) and got told that this girl thinks I hate her by about- let me count- five people. Since when was it the thing to tell someone that someone thinks you hate them. I always thought the routine was someone to tell me that they hate you. Not what I'm meant to be "feeling". Well you know what, up theirs. I don't hate her, I have nothing against her.
I'm as cool as a cucumber.
(That's not a cucumber if anyone was wondering, I think it's a capsicum. Wait- yes it is)
"Anyone want to play that game we were playing yesterday?" I ignored his words as an act of defience to try and show that I do not analyse every move he makes, every word he says. Not like he notices anyway. People around him apololigetically said no because they had to do their work. He didn't even ask me. I didn't turn around, I wasn't in the mood for him or the stupid game anyway.
I turned to Robert and talked to him for a while. He gave up asking people if they wanted to play name game for about five minutes. When Robert had to leave for music I decided that I was in the mood for the game. "Hey Flynn, want to play the name game?" "O.K just give me a minute."
I started getting ready for the game while people sitting around me asked if they could play, everyone except him. I knew he wanted to play and I suppose I used this as an experiment to see if he would talk to me for fucking once. "Of course you guys can play. Flynn you ready??" QiQin and Mel from the front moved and Kevin moved over to join as well. Once we started playing, I had eleven people in a group for the game. Slyly, he moved his desk up to join. "VICTORY!" I thought.
But, oh was I wrong. After about five rounds he gave up and moved up back again. Why does he do this to me? I know its unintentional but the blunt actions that he makes tend to hurt me more than they should. There not even meant to hurt me. Why am I so vunerable to pain, attracted to his odd ways?
Why do I act like it matters? Why the hell do I even care? I give up.
Annie is listening to the Arctic Monkeys' Favourite Worst Nightmare album.
p,s Happy 17th Nicholai!!
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