so tell me how to live my life

Merry Easter everyone.
Not that this photo has anything to do with easter.
Just the fact that I think large chocolate easter bunnies will come eat you
on a misson of revenge for eating their offspring. Muahaha.

First day of long awaited term one holidays. Oh how bliss the feeling is to wake up late and not feel any urge to get up. There is no need to feel stress to finish homework like I would feel on the weekend. You get up when you feel it. You do what you want. You eat what you want. You shower when you want. You DON'T do homework. You go to bed when you want. I LOVE YOU HOLIDAYS!!!
Today I went to sleep again after lunch. It felt so good. I woke up and had a shower. And I went to the Galleria. I know.
I. Went. To. The. Galleria.
You don't understand how lame it was. Mum was pressuring me to find a place to do my hair for the ball on Wednesday (its so close hey) and I was like "FINE! Let's go find a place to do my hair." The amount of people I saw that I knew was crazy. That's why I don't like going there.
I felt so stupid, its just a fucking ball. And there's so much to organise for it and everything!! It's insane. And VAIR materialistic. Oh well- you only get one ball in your life. I've been looking forward to it KIND OF since retreat was so good the value of the ball has gone up so much more. It will be a spontaneous night with people I have spend a lot of my time with and have.
So eh. I guess negatives and positives balance out.

Dad was planning our trip overseas a few weeks ago. I love family holidays and travelling with family. Fun fun fun. He was considering to bar Burma from the trip and I got so pissed off. So he said he might let me go by myself after school or around this time next year. In Burma right now their celebrating New Years. Its so weird how Asian countries celebrate New Years at a different time from the universal New Years. Actually, its not weird. It's only because I'm so accustomed to the Western New Years date that I find it odd. I love culture. I've been brought up in three different cultures that dominate my life. They all contribute to who I am and what I am. Tonight I went through old photos to try and find photos for my Lit journal entry. Instead I found photos that dad took on my first trip overseas to Burma.

I do admit my dad was quite a decent photographer back in the day. Maybe thats where my interest for photography stems from. Here's a few photos that made me cringe with love for both my parents and a longing to go back to such a beautiful country.

How wonderful does the structure look? There are so many more photos that my dad took of the beautiful places that we visited back in 1994.

I love the different ways of transport that people in Burma still today use.

This is a photo of me and three of my cousins. I miss them so much. Sometimes I wonder if I was born in Burma instead of Australia how different life would be. I don't even know if I am lucky to be here than there. All I can do is work harder and make them proud. It is through them that I am striving for the best. People don't understand how much family really means to me. I would literally do anything for them. I would jump into a pit of hot fire for them. My heart aches so much because I miss them so much. I have felt true happiness only with them.
I remember two years ago and back when I was three how we would sit at the back of the old utes and play games. Back in 2007, we would sit at the back of the ute and play this game called ABC. Theres a different sign for every letter up to F. Someone calls out a letter and everyone has to get the correct hand sign. If you get it wrong everyone else gets to slap your wrist. It didn't matter that I had bruises on my wrist every night. It didn't matter that I got mosquito bites all over my legs. It didn't matter that there was little light in the streets and we played in the dark. Nothing mattered at all.

Actually I'm kind-of glad I was born and raised here instead of over there. It makes me realise the large differences that the world has in so many ways. It entitles me to make the best of my life here and make them proud. Not only do I live through their hopes but they live through me with my acheivements.Thinking and talking about my family in Burma is always a heartfelt plea from inside to leave this dreadful place. Everyone there seemed to be happy all the time despite their problems. Their way of life amazed me. The calming sound of busy traffic and bustling of markets on the street. The native toungue that my mum taught me since birth I could finally use. I was so glad that I could speak Burmese because I felt that I fitted in from the start. Being able to communicate smoothly and fluently helped me adapt to the different values and attitudes. I could finally see where my mum gets all these random ideas of modernity and westernised things from. The opinions and stance she has on things that go way against my own beliefs. It was crazy, it was like I understood my mum way better.

So now I am totally dreading school (only because its going to take so long to get over with so I can go visit my family) but I suppose their the drive that is forcing me (like I said before)

Every living organism wants recognition and for the rest of the world to realise that they do exist. Its only through attention that they can blossom with confidence and individuality. Then they will finally have enough courage to do numerous things: stand up for themselves, speak for themselves, think for themselves and be themselves. If we were all quiet and ignored we would be nothing but tiny dots on a dying world. But by being acknowleged that you are a unique being we learn more about each other and thus slowly reach a level of understanding between everyone else. Conflicts will be lessened and we would know what the true meaning of peace is. I'm sure peace in our own lives is ample even if we don't have as much world peace.

Annie is feeling a bit isolated.
Listening to The Cure which makes her happy.