Dear friend,

In the words of my favourite electronic rapper Dizzee Rascal my brain feels as if it is going "Bonkers". I feel cold air against my face as I walk out of my room after being coated by the warmth radiated from the heater. As someone I once knew, connected to, walks past I couldn't help but peek a glance. Yet the awkwardness and embarrasment sweeps over as I keep by head down and walk by.
There is still a thin line of friendship connecting us together. When I see people on buses, at school, in shopping centres I see metaphorical threads keeping people together no matter the changes or the hassles. These threads show who your friends, family, known people, acquantices, mistresses, co-workers, peers, are. I feel as if there is this one thread connecting us is slowly thinning out. Sometimes I wish a fairy or a guardian angel will come and cut it so there would be no goodbyes; no pain. But then I ask myself, do I really want to let go? This feeling is like a crack in a wall, growing larger over time. Or a scratch on the roof of your mouth that won't heal because your tongue keeps on licking it (yes, I watched Fight Club last night).
"Theres always time." you once said. Can't you feel it slipping away? You lied. Or more so I see it as a lie with false hope aimed at the heart strings. It didn't last, I'm sorry.
If you make the effort, I will too.
I know its bad to prioritise, to order things. I can't help but prioritise people I know and people that I love. There is a handful of people I never want to forget and the others I know I eventually will lose contact with and it won't hurt at all. Somehow you come in between. Sooner or later I will get over you, yes, but for now, I don't want to. Yet I should. I know I should. It will hurt me, seeing you talk to other people and not me. To think about thestupid useless things we used to talk about. To sink in the fact that you never used to mind I took up so much time. How you used to spontaneously call me or tickle me. The fact that at the time we fit perfectly together.

Sometimes I really hate being a girl.

-Annie
xoxo