Be Careful What You Feel.

I just blew a bubble from my blue chewing gum and it stuck onto my nose as it burst.
Heheh

I wish I had more time. I don't want to forget so many things I feel like my brain is going to burst.

Sometimes your so used to failure that when it comes around, you don't feel anything at all.
I know I should feel some sort of regret of not trying harder, having more will power that some people have endless reserves of, or at least feel like crying it all out. Maybe I've just transformed into a heartless bitch for mathematics. I really do hate sitting next to elite applicable mathematicians in my class though. The looks on their faces and tone of voices they use as soon as they grab the test results from the teacher makes me jealous. I just can't help but be friends with people with more useful brains for maths. So if I feel jealous of their marks, why don't I try harder? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

I'm scared of disappointment. I'm scared of total failure. I'm scared of not reaching my expectations. I'm scared of being so used to failure that I just end up giving up in everything.

Last weekend was the last time I was to go to music camp as a high school student EVER in my life.
I'd never felt so depressed in my whole entire year 12 life for something about school.
Let me inspire you to why.
We eat red jelly and ice cream together.
We went for walks amongst endless greens and yellows.
We force feed ourselves six meals a day plus junk food.
A group of us sleep together on one collective mattress.
We're friends with younger people.
We play music until late at night, and our lips feel like bursting.
Playing music makes me happy.
We watch a musical, and we have naive talent quests.
We love each other even if we make each other mad at times.
I'm going to miss you music camp.

"Sometimes I like to make myself believe, that the planet earth is turning slowly"

I want to have more time to take photos.















XXX