everything is to the beat.

'Let's begin by letting go.'

Rah rah rah rah rah, I feel emotionally/ brain physiologically stressed. Does that even make sense? Life has been life. I've been Annie- going around mucking up and ruining relationships with the people I love most. Hah- I feel trapped. Deep down I'm enraged and I want to escape but truthfully, I just can't be fucked anymore.

'Is it okay?' 'You always say it is, but really, its not.'
I don't even know where I feel safe anymore. Who I feel safe with. Human beings- oh mother fuckers, you confuse me so so much.
Control yourself. Control. Control. Control. Control.
Take only what you need. Need/ want.

Weeks = uni/ uni work. Weekends = 18ths, outings, and stress for the week coming/ past. I'm getting used to this routine but I'm not sure if I like it as yet. I was talking to Adam today on the bus about my pessimistic mood on uni conveyed through this blog but I don't mind it as much as I seem to type through. I'm okay with my course, I've met some pretty awesome new people, and everything is new to me. I tend to hang onto the past too much....

What do you do when you've screwed things up so monsterously that you can't just help but feel that heavy gut feeling everytime you think about it?

Photo credits: http://icanfreezetime.com, theres a wonderful selection of photos by erin mulvehill on this site