Everyday is a chore

Can I tell you a secret?"
"Yeah, sure."
"There's this girl called Emily in my class.."
"I don't think thats much of a secret my friend."

Urgh, same old shit- day in, day out. This is what we're programmed for right? I met my new cousin last night, her name is Maddy. She just turned three months and is the biggest ball of cuteness and warmth in one. I discussed the prospects of my future with Pearl as well, whilst gazing at Maddy and her natural adorable baby aura. Ah, it wasn't till talking with Pearl that I realised that I have not fully comprehended the weight and pressure of the uncertainty of my future is hanging over my shoulders every second of the day. And what am I doing every second of the day? Absolutely nothing. Nothing that will lead me anywhere.


I have this weird feeling in the pits of my stomach.
1. I'm drifting from anything and anyone thats kept me constant for the past year. It's not my fault, everyones gone their own ways, have their own different lives now. We all live in different worlds now. I try my hardest to stay down and stop floating away, but only I can do so much.
2. There's this one boy, I've talked to him twice ever in my life. I can't help it.
3. I think there was something in the lunch I ate today. I had to have two panadols after eating it (so thats why I was so knocked out when I came home from work) and then run to the toilet to spew.
4. I have all this alcohol in my room (seven bottles of various champagnes/ sprits/ wine/ vodka and eight bottles of lolly water) and its making me want to travel to another world.... non-existant except in my body and head.

Here's a summary of what I've been up to in the sucession of photos- PART 1
Soooooo much more to come.

Argh life is so borrrrrrrring.
I'm gonna go read or something.
Till later lovers
Currently listening to: Don't Dream Its Over - Sarah Blasko