there on the streets, are so many possibilities not to be alone.

I have not put my brain/ emotional self in so much stress in one day ever since semester two exams last year. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? How can one measly hang-out sesh tomorrow with someone I'm not even meant to be friends with (the differences are striking but the similarities strike straight to the realisation that maybe we are meant to be aquantices of some sort) make me drift off into endless thoughts and wonderings???

People talk about finding someone so alike to themselves that they can't comprehend the meaning or possibilities this brings to them. Maybe my situation is as extreme as finding your "soul mate" or whatnot but this boy is so similar to me yet his whole self is someone that I would never consider even conversing with. Who he hangs with, what his interests are. But because he is so different yet so similar I can't help but find out more.
...and then thats where I find myself digging myself a hole I wish I could get out of

Hi there reader. Do you ever fantasise about something that could possibly happen in your near future life yet you have to bring yourself to stop because you don't want to jinx it thus it never becoming true? I know it sounds very superstitious and an odd thing to do. Maybe I have OCD? A mild case of OCD. Yeah. I know doing things like this is bad for your whole self and being. But I can't help it. He told me "she knows it already" but I didn't know if I didn't know it or I did know it. But I didn't want to know it because that means I would be jinxing myself. But then if I didn't know it, I felt sad and lowly.

;___;

I've been so anxious and nervous today that I've built a wall around myself so I can be lonely with my thoughts. But it's the constant contact and fight with these thoughts that have driven me to feel so tired and given me a headache. I might have an early night tonight (please don't think differently of me because I am going to sleep at 9.50 without having a proper excuse)

It's been so fucking bad. I got no study done at all today. Nothing. Zilch. What the hell is wrong with you Annie? Why are you so weak?

Grow up and who cares about all these measely feelings on the way?




Who am I fucking kidding. It's these feelings that make me happy morning, day and night.

I hope everyone else had a better day than I did.