Trauma

Days and nights have been incredibly bland lately. Been straining the brain a bit too much- uni work, over-thinking, endless 1.5 pt font size readings, loneliness and the shit.
Last night I felt like the ground underneath my feet was moving, hung out with QiQin and walked around the streets with wine and shit, looking for that piano music. Today I have the repercussions of leaving reading and writing too late.

I've actually forgotten how to make friends. I can never make the first move- never. Maybe I'll just spend my days alone, I mean there's nothing wrong with that. It just gets so ... boring sometimes. And lonely.

I keep on seeing people I don't want to see as well. It's like tormenting me, taking me back, back to square one. Paranoia and fear overtake me too much sometimes on campus.

Been having no creative outlet. Arrrrgh, as much as I looked forward to the beginning of this year, I wish I could skip to the end now.

Fun's over, down to the real shit now.



p,s I know it sounds kinda self-fish that I'm talking about my problems when there's the problems of the world. Oh man, trust me, I spend every waking hour thinking about waves, sleeping Buddha, innocent deaths, the Man on the Moon, this world, Jesus and the next day.