Lullaby- The Cure

In this state where I'm acting on impulse. Of course there's various strains and imaginacal (yes I did just make that up) threads holding me back from doing things I really want to but many have been let loose and caused havoc with the butterflies residing in my stomach.

The classical theory of Utilitarianism is where you act purely upon the desire for pleasure- the action in which would bring more pleasure (minus pain) is more desirable. Hedonistic views upon Utilitarianism is in one where, regardless of the consequences which may come about, is recommended to live a life fulfilled of brainless love and less than mediocre days.

If one did not earn respect in high school due to a persona being rather intelligent and not sociable, the care factor probably grew more as it became more evident that it might be close to 'bullying'. But in the end, knowledge and the ability to focus on study and come out of the upper end of the social hierarchy deserves respect of a entirely different leaque. The achievements and awards that you received in highschool despite the sniggers and snide remarks are nothing but small memories of a bigger picture to what you would be now. If only, at the time that I was chosen in my mothers womb that I was an entirely different being, I could live a life where I would not have to be so confounded on choices that majority find piss easy. If only I could live a life that Utilitarianism would fit in, I would care less than I do now of the social/ familial pressures and self- apathy. Where sexual deviance and un organised adolescent relationships were un needed or wanted, for that matter. Alcohol and drugs would be nothing but the words that came out of social workers that visited assembly's in the morning. As Mill's says; intellectual pleasure is the pleasure with higher quality. In other words, brain sex overrides physicality and the need of skin.

My brains about to explode baby.